13 October 2016

"It's just words, folks": Donald Trump's and the Bible's

In the second presidential debate, Donald Trump denied that he sexually assaulted women, as he bragged about habitually doing in the Access Hollywood Bus tape. They were "just words, folks."

Trump's defense reminds me of how believers defend the Bible's words. They admit that it's filled with crude, violent, misogynistic stories, statements, and commands - but it's all "just words" to them. The Bible, like Donald Trump, never says what it means or means what it says.

To illustrate this I thought I'd compare the Donald's "locker room banter" to the Bible's. Here goes.

Foul Language

Donald Trump

Bible

Behold, I will bring evil upon the house of Jeroboam, and will cut off from Jeroboam him that pisseth against the wall. 1 Kings 14:10

Hath he not sent me to the men which sit on the wall, that they may eat their own dung, and drink their own piss with you? 2 Kings 18:27

Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces. Malachi 2:3

Big Penises

Donald Trump

Bible

For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses. Ezekiel 23:20

My little finger shall be thicker than my father's loins. 2 Chronicles 10:3-11 [Rehoboam, bragging that his penis is bigger than his father's (Solomon's) was.]

Sexual Assault

Donald Trump

Bible

Behold now, I [the "just and righteous" Lot (2 Peter 2:7-8)] have two daughters which have not known man; let me, I pray you, bring them out unto you, and do ye to them as is good in your eyes. Genesis 19:8

When thou goest forth to war ... And seest among the captives a beautiful woman, and hast a desire unto her ... Then thou shalt bring her home to thine house ... and ... thou shalt go in unto her. Deuteronomy 21:10-13

Voyeurism

Donald Trump

Bible

David arose ... and from the roof he saw a woman washing herself; and the woman was very beautiful. ... David ... took her; and she came in unto him, and he lay with her; for she was purified from her uncleanness. 2 Samuel 11:2-4

Dating your daughter

Donald Trump

Bible

Lot [the "just and righteous" Lot (2 Peter 2:7-8)] went up out of Zoar, and dwelt in the mountain, and his two daughters with him ... and he dwelt in a cave, he and his two daughters. And the firstborn said unto the younger, Our father is old, and there is not a man in the earth to come in unto us. Let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father. And they made their father drink wine that night: and the firstborn went in, and lay with her father ... I lay yesternight with my father: let us make him drink wine this night also; and go thou in, and lie with him ... And they made their father drink wine that night also: and the younger arose, and lay with him ... Thus were both the daughters of Lot with child by their father. Leviticus 19:30-36

Menstruation

Donald Trump

Bible

If a woman have an issue, and her issue in her flesh be blood, she shall be put apart seven days. Leviticus 15:19

Thou shalt cast them away as a menstruous cloth. Isaiah 30:22

Jerusalem is as a menstruous woman. Lamentations 1:17

But if a man be just, and do that which is lawful and right, and hath not ... come near to a menstruous woman.... Ezekiel 18:5-6

War

Donald Trump

The Bible

Thou shalt consume all the people which the LORD thy God shall deliver thee; thine eye shall have no pity upon them. Deuteronomy 7:16

And if it will make no peace with thee, but will make war against thee, then thou shalt besiege it: And when the LORD thy God hath delivered it into thine hands, thou shalt smite every male thereof with the edge of the sword: But the women, and the little ones, and the cattle, and all that is in the city, even all the spoil thereof, shalt thou take unto thyself; and thou shalt eat the spoil of thine enemies, which the LORD thy God hath given thee. Deuteronomy 20:12-14

But of the cities of these people, which the LORD thy God doth give thee for an inheritance, thou shalt save alive nothing that breatheth: But thou shalt utterly destroy them ... as the LORD thy God hath commanded thee. Deuteronomy 20:16-17

Cursed be he that keepeth back his sword from blood. Jeremiah 48:10

Thus saith the LORD my God; Feed the flock of the slaughter. Zechariah 11:4

War Crimes

Donald Trump

Bible

Thus saith the LORD of hosts ... slay both man and woman, infant and suckling, ox and sheep, camel and ass. 1 Samuel 15:2-3

Torture

Donald Trump

Bible

The hand of the LORD was against the city with a very great destruction: and he smote the men of the city, both small and great, and they had emerods in their secret parts. 1 Samuel 5:9

And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors. Matthew 18:34

And to them it was given that they should not kill them, but that they should be tormented five months: and their torment was as the torment of a scorpion, when he striketh a man. And in those days shall men seek death, and shall not find it; and shall desire to die, and death shall flee from them. Revelation 9:5-6

The Disabled

Donald Trump

Bible

Whosoever ... hath any blemish, let him not approach to offer the bread of his God. For whatsoever man he be that hath a blemish, he shall not approach: a blind man, or a lame, or he that hath a flat nose, or any thing superfluous, Or a man that is brokenfooted, or brokenhanded, Or crookbackt, or a dwarf, or that hath a blemish in his eye, or be scurvy, or scabbed, or hath his stones broken; No man that hath a blemish ... shall come nigh to offer the offerings of the LORD ... because he hath a blemish. Leviticus 21:17-23

And David said on that day, Whosoever ... smiteth ... the blind that are hated of David's soul, he shall be chief and captain. Wherefore they said, The blind and the lame shall not come into the house. 2 Samuel 5:8

Religious Intolerance

Donald Trump

The Bible

They [people who believe in other gods] shall not dwell in thy land, lest they make thee sin against me: for if thou serve their gods, it will surely be a snare unto thee. Exodus 23:33

If thou shalt hear ... men ... saying, Let us go and serve other gods, which ye have not known ... thou shalt surely smite the inhabitants of that city with the edge of the sword, destroying it utterly, and all that is therein, and the cattle thereof, with the edge of the sword. Deuteronomy 13:12-15